The Titans are Fighting...

www.macobserver.com

And the question is... Do I join this war? Hrm...

So, this weekend I woke up to an email from Kindle Direct Publishing, detailing their side of the war on e-book pricing, and to email the CEO of Hachette on my stance. The letter I received seemed very thought out and well written, but had the tinge of one-sidedness that you often find in these things. They have become very public on their stance, and you can find the letter here if you want to read it.

So the first time I heard of this issue was when I got a kickback from Barnes & Noble for the few e-books I purchased from them. Now, I loved my new bright and shiny e-books and was all about putting a request for a Nook in my letter to Santa, but the affair I had with B&N burned brightly and died quickly. It's a sad story, really. After a heated brush with customer service when all my books went poof (error on their side), I immediately turned to Amazon without a look back.

Don't dick around with me when I'm on the penultimate chapter of a Stackhouse novel, people.

But fair is fair, so here's another side of the story, published by the NY Times. It details the hardships that Amazon has brought some of Hachette's authors by refusing to sell Hachette's e-books until they cut their costs.

Now, I had a really hard time seeing past the media spin they put on his tale of woe and actually digging out some compassion for these 900 authors, but despite the odds, I did it. I don't think it had the desired effect, because I'm definitely not on Hachette's side, as a consumer or an author, but at least it did give me another perspective to eye Amazon with.

Annnndddd....  I think both companies are wrong.

I'm not on the fence though. I know what I agree with, and I do agree with Amazon's basis for this war, just not their methods. I think banning Hachette's sales might have been a wee bit too much. That's not to say that I agree with Hachette's stance. In fact, there isn't anything I've seen come out from Hachette that I agree with at all. Their tag line of 'lower e-book pricing devaluing the authors work' is bogus. That's not going to happen. Are we, as consumers, THAT stupid? I don't think we are, but I guess that question's still up for debate. I admit I might have a little more faith in humanity that's justly deserved, but I still say no.

So I do not agree with Hachette, and I'm having loads of trouble trying to find their justification. Also, this article doesn't help. Really, Hachette? You think lowering e-book prices is going to devalue the authors work, but their work is only valued at 25% of an e-book sales to you? Is there something I'm missing here?

And I guess there might be, because I've only ever dealt with Smashwords and Amazon, who both give their authors a much bigger slice of the pie, so I will just put a pin in that question for now, and for the love of a run on sentence, I'll just sit over here quietly with my mind boggling on that point. The one above, I mean. With the 25%. Yeah. Got it? 'Kay, moving on, then.

So where do I stand as a consumer?

That one's easy. Amazon and Smashwords, all the way. Why? Because duh... Lower e-book prices. With as much as I read, I can't afford to drop $10+ a few times a month just to snag another book. There are only a few, and I mean A FEW books that I would spend over $10 on... does that make me cheap? Don't care.

Let's go way back for a sec, before all these fancy-smancy e-books, back when all the other kids at school thought I was the 'weird' girl cuz I was always carrying around a 600 page tomb by King or Jordan... Do you know how I got those books? I got them resale. And I'm not talking about the hardbacks that resale for $14.99 still, I'm talking about the beat-up paperbacks that were coming off the spine, because that's what I could afford. And you know what else? I LIKED IT. Because I didn't have to save up my precious pennies just to wait for weeks to buy ONE story. I was able to buy multiple and be taken away to a different world each and every week.

Did that devalue any of those stories I read? No, it didn't. And that's why I keep my e-book price low. I write for my stories to be read, not to be looked at and passed over because the price was too high. But that's how I want to approach it as an author. As much as I don't agree with Hachette, I still think the authors have the right to set their own e-book price. If they want to sell their book at $19.99, by all means, set the price at $19.99!

I could be wrong on that, but with every author able to set their own price, I doubt there will be many books being sold for $19.99, because Amazon and Smashwords will still exist, giving readers the lower cost for their fix. And even (godforbid) that was taken away, I'd be back at Half Price Books, buying up all the paperbacks again.

War sucks. Whether it be fought with a pen or a sword, apparently there are casualties either way. I can't see the justice or the reasoning behind everything that's happened/happening with the e-book struggle, but I do believe the consumer will be the deciding force in the end. That's the way of the beast. It's how it's always been, and how it always will be. At least until the zombies come eat all our faces.

And I'm out. 14,000 words left to go! Have a glorious week, everyone!

Mondays

Do. Not. WANT!

Argh! I am such a fan of sleeping in, but getting jolted awake at 6am is pretty much the opposite of that. I know that happens five days out of the week, but I have a special resentment reserved for Monday mornings. My alarm blaring Everything Is Awesome might not have been the best song choice in retrospect. Oy.

Now, I have heard of these fabled morning people that thrive during the dawning of a new day, but I have yet to meet one. My question is, do you actually exist, or have you gone the way of the unicorn? Have the grumpy-grumps strangled you all? I figure that would be my first reaction to meeting a morning person, especially if it was prior to 10am. I need to hang a sign on my door that reads Come back at noon. I know there are already tons of jokes and quips out there regarding stuff like this and "morning coffee," but that's because they're true. Yet, it's late afternoon and I'm still yawning. Oh well.

But, I didn't come here just to bitch about Mondays, although I could go on and on... No? Okay, moving on then.

I actually came here to give you some cold hard stats on the creation of After - Part Three. (cheer!) A long, long time ago, when I started the editing process, I based my timeline off the previous two books. Over the months that followed, I discovered my folly since After - Part Three was not written the same way as the others. I wrote most of the back half of it using Dragon Naturally Speaking, a nifty little text to speech program that is correct at least 75% of the time. The other 25% of the time leads to a quagmire of confusion that is neither time-efficient nor productive, although amusing at times.

Ehe... Oops.

So when you're speaking off the top of your head, and just yammering and yammering, you do get a lot of words down, if that's your goal. A first draft getting created this way is not a bad thing, but pretty much the whole thing will need to be rewritten, and I mean COMPLETELY rewritten. Nothing good is going to come out of that first draft. It's only a little better than an outline as far as I'm concerned. I did not take this aspect into my equation when I calculated the time it would take to finish.

I remember opening up the draft for part three and being somewhat disappointed that it was just under 50000 words... probably about the same size at part one. Part two came in over 70000, and I really thought the final chapters of After would top out a little higher than that. Boy, was I wrong.

Or was I?

I'm not going to skimp on my book just because I could stamp it and call it a day. My manuscript will get the full attention it deserves until I'm satisfied with the story I've told. That means some chapters need shuffled, some scenes cut, some scenes added, some perspectives changed, and a lot of blood, sweat and tears shed by moi. Well, maybe not the blood part, (unless you want to count the papercuts) but still, you get it.

So I dove in and really started chewing it up. And aren't you curious as to where I stand now?

After - Part Three is roughly at 86,000 words.

Zoh. My. Gosh!!

Looking at it that way kinda boggled my mind. It wasn't my focus during the rewrites, but one day, I decided to compile everything and got quite the surprise. The whole manuscript of After is sitting just over 211,000 words right now. Um... Did I do that?

I never expected this first book to turn out to be so many words. I was thinking I'd be lucky to hit even 100k. Actually, there are a lot of things I didn't expect to happen with this first book. I guess the biggest thing that's blown me away is all the fans, followers, and supporters I've gained. I love you guys! You are all so wonderful, and I hope to be able to get through the remaining 20k words of part three, and have this book out to y'all by the end of the month!

Happy.. uh... Monday, and I hope the rest of your week just keeps getting better from here!

Stress

I do not handle it well, apparently.

So I haven't posted much lately, nor really given an explanation as to why, other than I lack time. That is true, but why do I lack the time? Home life has been extremely hectic lately, and most of the time that I get to myself has been devoted to finishing After - Part Three. (News on that later.)

But, truth is I simply don't spend a whole lot of time talking about what's been going on with Debra. Mainly because at this point, it just seems like I'm making excuses since I'm getting further and further away from the wrong side of my deadline, and I push myself to write and edit and edit and write until I collapse. And do not doubt that this has happened! It is not pretty when the meltdown occurs, because I generally end up in a fetal position crying... or laughing... or sometimes both. But mostly I just get all passive aggressive and snappy, and that scares my husband and the cats. (I love you, honey!)

ANYWAY, I'd like to put that aside for a sec, and actually take a break from all the hubbub and just blog. I'm going to talk about what's been going down in Debra town lately (sorry) and share with you a little something I learned about myself last week.

Stress is bad. Very bad. It's awful. Atrocious. Evil. It's what will cause my death during a zombie apocalypse, or any type of apocalypse, really. I realized after watching World War Z that I am *NOT* going to be one of the select few that make it through the cataclysm to later become a hero of humanity. No. Not even close. In fact, chances are pretty slim that I'm going to make it past the first 24 hours. It's just not going to happen.

So, I guess a good starting point for this story is around February, when we finished up our second move within 3 months (DO NOT RECOMMEND.) Short story, sold house, moved to rent house, bought a house, moved to a new house, husband aggravated an old injury in his hip. Ugh!

We've been dealing with his hip pain on and off for the past 3 or 4 years, and he's been to the Doc a couple times for it. Treatment was generally a steroid regimen to help the inflammation go down, and normally that worked. This time... not so much. So it was off to a specialist, who did not have good news.

After taking a look at his x-rays, the Doc was like, "LOL what happened to all your cartilage, buddy? Holy moly, looks like you need a new hip!"

Note: I wasn't actually there when he got his diagnosis, but I imagine this is how it went down.

Of course, we got a second opinion, but the consensus was the same. Severe arthritis in the left hip and no doctor liked the idea of putting a new hip into a thirty-two year old, but whatcha gonna do? He was in a tremendous amount of pain, and unable to move around freely anymore, so last Wednesday, he got his new hip.

Sorry, we do not have a cool video of him walking 24 hours after the surgery like Mark Cuban. Stop setting these crazy standards, Mark!

Anyway, day of surgery. We get to the medical center early morning, and I'm feeling okay. I'm nervous, but he seems excited. They take him to pre-op, and suddenly my stomach is like... "I don't like this so much, bub." I realize that I'm queasy, but it should get better once I finally see him again. So I wait, and do my best to ignore the growing queasiness. Then the nifty little pager they give you goes off, and we (his mom and myself) get to go back to see him before they wheel him into surgery.

It did not get better.

The string of nurses, doctors, and anesthesiologists start coming in to give him the spiel of how they're going to cut him up and... stuff, and my stomach has firmly set its speed to hyper-drive on its downward spiral. I just couldn't handle it. I began to pace in the tiny little room while, trying to settle my stomach, but it only helped so much.

And this is the worst part. The nurse comes in to shave him, and all my concentration was focused on not throwing up that I couldn't even enjoy the moment!! He was getting his ass shaved, and I couldn't even quip about it! He's mother was in the room to witness it, for crying out loud, and I had nothing! Ugh! Golden opportunity missed.

Then, my wonderful husband, who is about to go into major surgery, says to me. "I'm fine, you can leave if you need too." Oh really? Okay! *Zoom* And I barely make it back to the lobby bathroom before my stomach turned inside out. There was also a major headache that went along with it, and the few hours that followed did not get any better until the nurse updated us mid-surgery that everything was going well. That was when the stress finally let go and I began a slow, steady upswing.

I'm so happy I could be a real pillar of strength for ya, babe!

*facepalm*

I'm horrible.

This has been an ordeal, but the tough part is behind us, and now he can really start to mend. Living in chronic pain is not fun, y'all! I'm glad he decided to go through with the surgery, even though he'll never be able to run again. (yet another reason we aren't going to make it through the apocalypse.)

So there's a little bit of what we Johnson's have been dealing with the past few months! Time is still being poured into After - Part Three and I think I'm still on my schedule to release next month, as long as my #1 beta reader can muddle through the pain-pill drowsiness to actually concentrate on reading. Then I ship the manuscript off to my editor. The timeline is looking good!!

And now..... ***VACATION!!!*** Well, working vacation anyway. I'll continue to write! Catch y'all soon!

Also, quick shout out to George Tate. Thank you for the copy of The Gathering of Twine! It's on my list of things to read, now!

My Writing Process - Blog Tour

Alright, everyone! It's time to hop! That's right. Let's get your blog hop on! And I'm about to hop to it!

Was that painful? I apologize. I've never participated in a blog hop before, so wasn't entirely sure how to get this started. I'm going to assume that my awkward stumbling has sufficed as a header, and just move on. *facepalm*

Today is my post for the My Writing Process Blog Tour.

First thing, I want to thank Johi Jenkins for tagging me. I have read both her Resurgence and The Thirst Within novels, and I'm eagerly waiting on the next installments. They're definitely the kind of books I still think about long after I'm done reading. Thanks again for tagging me, Johi!

Welp, I guess it's on to the questions now!

1) What are you working on? 

I am currently in the finishing stages of the last 3rd of After - Part Three. I'm getting nudged on this almost daily now to get it released, so the pressure is on! But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that the release date is just around the corner. After that, I have a couple of other projects simmering on the burners that I will unveil in August. I am incredibly excited about both of these, but my main focus still remains on The Phoenix Curse.

2) How does you work differ from others of its genre?

This is a toughie, since not only am I in the over saturated horror/supernatural nook, but in the zombie nook as well. Zombies!! Zombie novels are literally a dime a dozen now-a-days, and if someone had told me ten years ago that my first published novel would be about the mindless hordes, I would have scoffed and thought they were a moron... and then delved into what else they might know about the future, but seriously... zombies?

Yes, zombies!!! Not only because so many people out there love apocalyptic/distopia/zombie fiction, but I love apocalyptic/distopia/zombie fiction... and a strong female lead. Now, zombies have been done every which way, so I went the way of the not-dead mindless horde and ended up with infected LIVE zombies. Ones that will definitely die (and stay dead) if they suffer some massive trauma, but they're strong... and they're fast... and they're resilient, and that's what my nightmares are made of.

Also, most zombie novels start at the cusp of the desolation. I jump a few years past the apocalypse, and dropped my characters into the new and (not) improved distopia America, and let them take over from there. 

3) Why do you write what you do? 

It captured me. I fell in love with my characters and then fell into the world that I created. The Phoenix Curse started off as an exercise, but managed to bloom and come to life in my mind. Now it's just a matter of finding the time to get it all down on paper.

4) How does your writing process work? 

Slowly? *cackle* Probably not the answer you're looking for. I start with a prompt, a rough outline in my head, and I try to get a complete story down on paper as fast as I can. I've only done this a couple times, so I'm definitely no pro at it, but I'm working to get better! Once that part is done, then I bitch and moan for the next few months about how much I hate revising/rewriting/editing while I put myself through a slow kind of torture by getting my manuscript ready for the editor. Oy, editing sucks.

But as much as I grumble, it is all worth it when the scene I was struggling with finally clicks into place, and nothing compares to that feeling when I have my final manuscript in my hands. It's wonderfully awesome, and I hope to have that exact feeling here soon with After - Part Three. Never fails to bring a tear to my eye.

~~~

And there it is! We're really hopping now!!

Ugh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't torture those that made it this far down my post. Please accept my humble apologies. I'm ashamed. And sleepy, but no excuse.

Okay, NEXT week, be sure to check out the two blogs below, whom I have nominated to follow me in this blog hop.

First is Monica La Porta, whom I worked with on Off the Beaten Path. She is the author of the wonderful Priest series, which is set in a very intriguing world.

Next is Arreis Rose, who is currently working on her first series, and is just now getting her brand new blog off the ground with this blog hop. The first book in her series, Small, is tentatively set to release next Summer.

News!

Summer is coming! It's just around the corner. That fact is unavoidable and weighs on me every day because I said roughly 8 months ago that After - Part Three would be released in Spring of 2014.

Now spring has come and almost gone, and it's time for me to face the inevitable. I did not finish as promised. There are a number of reasons why I did not finish on time, but like my fortune cookie told me... Excuses are easy to manufacture, but hard to sell. I never liked excuses anyway, so I'm not even going to bother wasting my time on an explanation right now. However, it will be coming later, because there was a lesson for me, a huge lesson as a matter of fact, and it's something I want to share because it might be helpful/inspirational... but later.

I could have published prior to this, but the book wasn't something I wanted to rush, based on the previous lessons I've learned. I got overly excited with After - Part One because it was the first book I'd ever written and finished, so I was a little over eager to hit that publish button. Then I had a slew of errors that I had to go back and fix. Then with After - Part Two, I had promised to get it out by October of 2013, and I did it!! ... And had a slew of errors that I had to go back and fix.

Third time's the charm?

I want to do this right. I can't promise a release date, but I can promise that I'm going to deliver a book that I'm happy with, and hopefully one better written and put together than it's predecessors. I can also give you my schedule, and at this late date, one that I feel comfortable in sticking with.

I should be finished with the rewrites by the end of this month, and then the manuscript will go to my editor in July. Once she has it to look over, I can get a better timeline of how long it will take her to finish the edits, and then I will be able to have a true release date. During that time, I'll be marketing part three, finishing up a project that stole some of my attention earlier this year, and working on the first draft on my next Phoenix Curse project.

Lots and lots and lots of plans! I'm excited about them all and can't wait to share it with you! Until then, blog posts will be scarce, but if you want to check up on me, feel free to reach out to me on Facebook. Yes... I have Twitter, but I suck at Twitter. I love you, Twitter followers, and I apologize for being Twitter stupid, but I just can't get with the program. I continue to try, but it feels like my efforts are doing more harm than good.

Sorries.

Have a good weekend, everyone!!

Dreaming and Days of Future Past

I've said this before and I'll reiterate right now, that I do enjoy my day job in procurement and I find it satisfying, but that is not my dream. 

*queue soft, inspirational music*

I have a dream! That dream is to wake up at 7 every morning, come downstairs in my bath robe, fix me a cup of hot chocolate, and open up the manuscript that I will pour all my creative juices into for the day.

*record screech*

Well, I guess I could be doing that anyway via starving artist fashion, but I'm a little more pragmatic than that. I need to make a living to support this hobby I have, but one day I hope to turn the hobby into the career that can put food on the table. And oh how satisfying THAT will be!

I have so many stories in my head that I don't have time to get down on paper right now. I would have liked to have been done with After months ago and already deep into Dreamland or beyond, but I can only do what I can do with the little time I have. Rest assured, that my free time is going into After - Part Three. 

Hell, I've had two prompts floating around in the ol' noggin for over a week now that I haven't had time to pen. If I don't get them down somewhere soon, I'll forget them. One is decent, one maybe meh, but you can't ever tell just from a prompt. The story doesn't really come to life until you work with it, and decent prompts aren't always easy to come by. I can go for months without a prompt, then have two fall into my lap within a day of each other and send my brain into hyper drive trying to untangle them. 

Think I'm going to get to them after I publish this post. Don't want them getting away!

Evan Peters

On the fun side of things, I got to go see X-Men: Days of Future Past last weekend. I really enjoyed the movie, but I'm not a hardcore X-Men fan. I only read a few of the comics when I was a kid, mostly Rogue and Phoenix stuff... which means I was not a fan of The Last Stand, but whatevs. Thank you for turning that fubar back around, Simon Kinberg! 

I just thought Days of Future Past was really well done, and it had some excellent comedic moments as well. Someone who's unfamiliar with the X-Men mythology should still be able to enjoy this movie, but I STRONGLY recommend watching First Class first if you haven't seen that one. 

My favorite introduction of a new character to the screen was Quicksilver! YAY, TATE!! Yes, I know his real name, but Tate is the first thing that pops into my head, even after watching American Horror Story season 2. I can't even remember what his name was in that season. Probably because I always referred to him as Tate. 

Okay, okay... Here on out, I'll refer to him as Quicksilver, because.... QUICKSILVER!! But that's only going to work up until the next Avengers movie releases. Then everyone's going to be confused. 

Welcome to my world. 

Bioshock and Editing

I believe I have finally managed to get a good editing process down for myself. Goals are easy when you're still in the first draft process and you're just writing words, words, and more words, but it was difficult for me to set goals during the editing. Mostly because I didn't have a good process. First there are rewrites, then you have the macro-editing, and then you have the micro-editing... All of which I find very daunting tasks. Hell, there are probably more editings in there I should be doing that I don't know about. Don't tell me! Don't tell me!! I don't wan't to know about them, or it's just going to scare me more.

So a couple weeks ago, I was able to work out a goal for myself, and I started to meet it everyday. So I upped that goal last week and I met it EVERYDAY! WOOHOO!! It took a bit of adjusting to create an attainable goal while I juggle work, family, and sleep, but I think I've finally done it.

If I try to do to much, I end up over reaching, stressing myself out and then the inevitable crash and burn catches up with me. Once that happens, it's hard to get started again. Doubts and fears creep in, and other projects dance enticingly at the edges of my mind. Don't worry though, I am determined to make this work. I'll get through this one step at a time, one page at a time, one word at a time, until it's done and I can hit that publish button. Then I will begin the next project and finish it the same way. 

And.... I still don't have a release date for part three yet... sorry! But we're getting closer!

So please don't hate me for taking some time off this weekend. I enjoy playing PC games and grabbed Bioshock Infinite while it was on sale for $10 on Steam. My husband has played it, and it's one of his favorite games. He was not spoiled to the ending when he finished it, so he had a pretty mind-blowing experience. Me, on the other hand, I tell him back then, "I'm never going to play it. Go ahead and tell me how it ends."

Oops! I really had no intention of playing the game, and I suck at first person shooters anyway. Why would I think I'd play it? Guess I won't be having games spoiled for me anymore. But I played it, and I enjoyed it. Of course I had it on EZ mode, but that did not distract from the story. Shame I was spoiled to the ending. Now I'm left to imagine how mind-blowing it could have been.

I guess FPS games aren't so bad... I still need to finish Mass Effect 3.

After all the edits are done, of course. :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Long time, no blog. Am I right?

Sorry about that. I've been updated on Facebook more and more lately, which isn't to say that much, but that's where my posts have been. If you haven't followed me there yet, here's the link. There is also a Phoenix Curse facebook fan page, but I hardly ever post to that one anymore.

So here's a brief rundown of the past couple of weeks. My husband and I celebrated our 6th anniversary last weekend, and it was wonderful. We didn't go anywhere, but we did take a couple days off work just to spend time with each other. One of those days included an hour long full body massage at a day spa.... shortest hour ever!! I definitely recommend doing that if you never have. It is amazing!

That was followed by a stellar week in the editing/rewriting journey, and I plan to match and exceed that this week! Yesterday, I had the pleasure of my first root canal and a crown prep on top of that, so I did not hit my daily goal... imagine that?... but it wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. Little ibuprofen afterwards and I was almost back to my normal, charming self.

Here's a life tip for everyone out there. Don't eats nuts, I repeat, DO NOT eat nuts the day after you've had a root canal. That is a BAD BAD BAD idea! Feel free to pass that on to friends and loved ones out there.

Ahem...

After my wonderful 5+ hours experience at the dentist, I came home to relax a bit. We've been living in our new house since the end of February and haven't take a walk around the neighborhood yet, so I asked my lovely daughter if she wanted to go with me. It was a beautiful weather last night, so we headed out on to find the nearest walking trail. It was just my daughter and the little stinker since my husbands ability to walk has been very limited due to a injury.

We find a trail and are walking through a nice, open area behind some houses. Bunnies are hopping around being bunnies, and it's just a picturesque day for a walk. Then Arreis (my daughters pen name) says, "I want to show you something," and she hands me her phone.

This is what plays.


Then she hands me this nifty little green and blue bracelet that she made out of rubber bands. Not gonna lie, I teared up a little bit! It was such a beautiful walk and a memory I will cherish forever. So glad I can share her love and creativity with everyone too!

To all you wonderful mothers out there, Happy Mother's Day!

After - Part Three Cover Reveal!

Happy first day of spring! Ya'll know what that means, right? As promised, the cover reveal for After - Part

Three is coming right up!

Happy Spring! 

Before I get to that, I just really quick want to say thank you to my fans out there. I love reading your kind words that come across Facebook and Twitter. They mean so much to me and really do brighten my day. I'm back to working on the book at least a little every day, and I'm so happy that you're on this journey with me!

So here it is. The brand new, shiny cover art for After - Part Three!

Doesn't it look so cute, fluffy and.... creepy??

A Kind Word

I like to talk about trivial things. There's just something I love about fluff... a sweet, guilty pleasure. Today, however, I'm leaving the fluff behind, and touching on a serious subject.

I don't talk about my personal life, my past life, much. It's a topic I intentionally steer clear of for a reason, and I have no plans to divulge my ancient history other than within my writing... and before I go any further, you must understand that it is just that. Ancient history.

I sit here tonight in a brand new house, have a loving husband, wonderful kids, a good job, and I've been able to turn my dream of becoming a published author into reality. I'm blessed, and I know it, but I walked a very dark path to get here. Yeah, I caught a few breaks that lead me out of a very bad situation, but ultimately it was me that made the decision to be strong and walk away.

Maybe, at some point in my life, I thought of myself as a victim. Not only did I live through, I survived years of domestic abuse, and I believe I came out the other side a stronger person. It's no small debt that I owe my husband for helping me grow into the person I am today, and he probably doesn't even realize how much he helped me by simply being the kind soul that he is. I've grown so much over the past decade, and even though there are still some lingering issues, some scars that refuse to completely fade away, I am happy with the person I am today. I will never think of myself as a victim again.

But that's not the story I want to write about tonight. I will leave the darkest part of my life in the shadows, only to break free in bits and pieces in my books. What I want to talk about is the road I walked that lead me there.

We were all born a clean, pristine slate, to be shaped partly by nature and probably a lot more by nurture. The house I grew up in was rife with bitterness and negativity. Two things that really don't come close to what I suffered in my early adulthood, but they paved the way nevertheless. The passive aggressive comments and outright degrading statements getting thrown at me at a very young age shattered my self-esteem. Remember, as a child, you have no basis of comparison. This was the norm. This was how I thought the world was supposed to work.

I very keenly remember sharing my dreams with the adults around me - those that I trusted, loved, and respected unconditional because that's simple what children do - and I was laughed at. By adults. I didn't even get humored or patronized, my thoughts were simply shot down.

I sang a song and was told "You'll never sound like Pasty Cline."

When I told another member of my family, "I want to write a story," I can still remember her laughing at me and saying "You don't have anything to write about."

But the worst thing was that I believed it.

I'll never forget how hard I tried to achieve their standards, how I strove for a complement, and yet I could never satisfy. It left me feeling completely unwanted and that anything I would accomplish would be worthless and a waste of time. I'm sure there are thousands upon thousands of people that have suffered through similar situations, I can't imagine that it's really all that uncommon, and that's a sad thought indeed.

Years later, as an adult, I finally understand that the problem was never with me, but more a reflection of the insecurities and doubts of my caregivers projected at me. Now, as a mother, I can't even fathom saying these things, or the like, to my children. Even though I witnessed it, lived through it, and bore the brunt of many hurtful statements, I still do not understand the thought process behind 'knocking' a child's self-esteem.

And really, this is what I want to talk about.

Watch what you say around and to the young-ins. What you think is an offhand remark that doesn't mean anything to you might linger in their thoughts for years. It could hit them at a critical time and shape who they are, affecting their decisions and reasonings for decades.

And even though I was nearly crushed under the weight of the overwhelming negativity, I do remember the good things too. Not that it came from my immediate family, but the applause from an unlikely source stands out like a bright pillar in my memories. It was the encouragement I was starved for, and it was enough to keep the spark burning.

I remember that vividly as well, Mrs Duke. Thank you.

So never withhold a kind word from a child. If you have young children around you, keep in mind that you are their everything. Everything you say, everything you do is being inscribed into their memories. It doesn't even have to be your own child, especially if it's not your own child, because you never know, can't know what they live with. The kind word you say to them could just be the only one that they'll hear that day, that week, that month, that year.

Encourage them, listen, spare that moment to really focus on what they've brought before you. It will mean the absolute world to them. Those kind little words may be the ones they remember, the ones they cling to during the tough times, the ones that will give them that extra, little push when they want to give up, and the ones they smile back on after they accomplish something amazing.

You may never know what you've done for a child with your kind words, but they'll know, and that's what matters most of all.

Tuesdays!

I love Tuesdays, aside from the part of it being the 2nd day of the work week. I love them because for years now they have heralded the release of a new movie to DVD/Blu-Ray, or a new console or PC game, or a new book. Tuesdays are awesome because of the fresh and new things that are released to the public for our consumption. Tuesdays are exciting.

Yesterday, R.A. Salvatore's Night of the Hunter: Companions Codex, I released. I had it downloaded before I even got out of bed. In fact, this blog post was supposed to be up yesterday, but my spare time got lost within the book. The saga of Drizzt Do'Urden is my biggest and most loved fandom, and I'm so happy that Salvatore can get out two of these books a year.

Also, I'm thrilled my daughter has fallen in love with these books as well, and I now have all of them on Audible up to The Servant of the Shard. I expect I'll have every last one of them here within a couple months, because she's devouring them. Victor Bevine does an excellent job narrating, and they're well worth the price, especially the ones that have the whispersync deal.

For the indie scene, Monica La Porta's The Priest is now free on Smashwords, and Amazon will price match. You'll remember her from our collaboration on Off the Beaten Path. I highly recommend giving this book a read if your looking for a good romance.

But if you need a little more horror, then be sure to grab this one, and it's for a wonderful cause! I've read the works of more than one of the authors in this collaboration, and I love their stories. Let's Scare Cancer To Death is now available on Amazon, and all proceeds will be donated to the V Foundation for Cancer Research. How can you NOT buy this book? I love me some short stories, so I'm excited to get started on this!

You can read more about the collaboration on T.W. Brown's blog here.

Everyone have a wonderful week, and I'll be back on Friday! (I think.)

Odium (The Dead Saga) - By Claire C. Riley

Happy Friday! North Texas finally recovered from the cold and it's a beautiful day! To bad the rain is coming in tomorrow, so gotta enjoy it while it lasts.

  

Today, I'd like to talk about Odium (The Dead Saga). This was written by a fellow indie, Claire C. Riley, and it's a good read, specially if you have a craving for the more main stream zombies. It's written in first person, present tense, with Nina as our voice and main character. This is actually not my favorite style to read, but the book still drew me in once I got into the rhythm. I didn't catch many grammatical or formatting errors, so Claire and her editor are doing a great job there, AND the cover art is beautiful.

Overall the story was good and the relationships between the characters developed nicely. I don't know why, but I'm always a sucker for the stories of what happened to each individual during the crisis or the turn, and I really enjoyed those sections.

I only gave the book 4 stars because I was sometimes confused by who Nina was supposed to be. The character seemed to waiver a little bit from when the book first started out until she finally found her flow about half-way through. Even though that development part was a little shaky, it shouldn't stop anyone from picking this book up, especially those that love some good old-fashioned zombie fic.

Claire C. Riley is definitely on my watch list now!

90mph

Can I be done yet? I mean.. can I just collapse and sleep for a week?

I hate moving! And to do it twice within 3 months has been a huge strain, physically and mentally. Calling all the utility companies -sometimes multiple times- fighting with the ones that screw things up (I'm looking at you, Time Warner) and all the boxes... Dear Lord, all the effing boxes!! I never want to see a brown moving box again!

Thank goodness it is OVER! We don't plan on moving again for a long, long time. Now it's time to settle back into the routine and get some relaxation in. Now if only this crazy Texas weather will cooperate. Saturday was all, 'Hello sweet spring day!' with the wonderful 80 degree temps, and then they sank to 19 on Sunday with sleet and ice all over the place. Really?

And on top of buying a house and the move, the day job just went through a major realignment and I had to learn a bunch of new lines. There's a little bit of work jargon for ya. No need to go into details on it though. It was stressful at work, stressful at home, and the blog and the edits have been pretty much ignored for the past month. I'm so ashamed.

On the bright side, I am over halfway through reading Odium ( The Dead Saga).  It's nice to actually read a book again, although I've grown really fond of listening to them too if you have a good voice reader. I should be done with it soon and be able to get a review up.

I've already started the edits again on After - Part Three and I'm actually printing the first chapters of the manuscript now for beta reading! I meant to have the cover reveal done last month but life just got in the way, so now it's been rescheduled for the 20th. Why the 20th? Because that's the first day of spring! I'm still confident part three will be released before summer officially begins, but I do not have a release date for you yet. Hang in there with me!

So happy to get a Tuesday post up again. Feels like it's been forever since I've been knocked off my schedule. At least I'm able to say Happy Tuesday! Have a wonderful week and I'll be back soon!

They're here!

Ready for signage!!

Woohoo! My first wave of paperbacks is finally here, ready to be signed and shipped out. I should have them all in the mail by this weekend, so if your one of the few who have been waiting for a copy, the wait is finally over! ... well.. minus shipping time.

Also, my review for The Dark Tower has been started... and I'm not half done yet, so I figured I should just get this out of they way and continue to work on the review in other posts. Maybe two... I have a lot to say about these books.

In the mean time, I have started a read and review ... thingie... with T.W. Brown. Hopefully it'll turn into a real book of the month club, but we need a few more indie authors to join in! So speak up if you're interested!

The book for February is Odium, by Claire C. Riley.

The title alone is gripping for me. I've barely opened the book and I can't wait to read more. I can only catch snippets here or there, but hopefully I will find some time to sit down and blaze through this book.

The move into the new house has started. We spent the weekend painting my daughters room, and will be moving all the big stuff this upcoming Saturday. We're spending time moving some little things during the evenings after work, and I Am Beat!! 

Hate to say this, but editing has slowed on part three. I'll jump right back into it as soon as the move is done. I think I'll be dying for some time to just park my butt somewhere and rest once this is all over with!

What day is it?!?

My head is spinning, I can't keep track anymore!

So, a big update coming your way today. I think it's due since I've been neglecting my blogging duties lately.

First up, my reading status. I'm done with Wolves of the Calla and Song of Susannah. Wolves of the Calla is a big book, almost a stand alone story like Wizard and Glass, but it all ties into the main plot by the end. It took a while to get used to George Guidall's voice. There was a time or two I almost put audible down and reached for the kindle, but I hung with it and finally got used to it... for the most part. I still prefer Frank Muller over George, but I think Georgie can carry me through to the end at least.

Mordred Deschain is creepy! **

I haven't read reviews of what other people thought of Wolves of the Calla yet, (don't want to stumble across a spoiler!) but I enjoyed it. The battle at the end was satisfying, and I really enjoyed seeing Jake grow into a young gunslinger. The book flowed so easily into Song of Susannah that I escaped the hangover. I started listening to Song the same night I finished Wolves. Song of Susannah is a very short book by King's standards, and I got through it in a week... AAANNNDDDDD I'm already a few chapters into The Dark Tower, so it's going to be hard to separate the books in my mind once I'm all done. Guess the real review will come when I finish the last one. Since they've been out on the market for a whole decade, there will be spoilers. I've got to be the only left who hasn't finished the series!

Now, here's for the fun-fun news! The first big order of paperbacks of After - Part Two are on the way to my house, so for those of you who have been waiting patiently (thank you, thank you!) for a signed copy, you'll have it soon! The ETA to my doorstep is February 17th, and I will have them in the mail soon after.

A natural segue into an After - Part Three report should follow that, but unfortunately I do not have any breaking news. I'm still plodding away as time allows, and expect to reveal the cover at the end of the month, along with maybe a little extra somethin' somethin'. ;)

Time to wrap this up with some pretty big life news. Remember when my husband and I sold our house back in November, moved into a rent house, and said we'd take some time looking for THE house we'd spend the next 20 years in? Yeah, we found it. We expect to be closing in a WEEK and then will be moving in! I'm very excited! Might be hard to find editing time while we're moving, but I'm sure I'll get settled in soon enough. Then I'll be back at it, buckling down, keeping my nose to the grindstone, going that extra mile and whatnot... Oh, silly idioms, I'll never escape em', but I'll be working hard, dammit!

Until then... Long days and pleasant nights, sais.

**Not sure who to credit for this artwork, but I found it on the Dark Tower Wiki.

The Hangover Within a Hangover

Don't get too excited just yet, I'm talking about book hangovers. The kind that causes severe emotional distress and leaves you stuck in the author's world, aching and unwhole. I know that's what every reader thirsts for, but it still manages to stun us when we finally close the book on that final page.

Well, Stephen King managed to deliver a double whammy with Wizard and Glass.

Again, I know I'm like... a decade late to this party, but one of my resolutions was to discuss every book I read this year, not just the indies, (although the indies will get extra special treatment.) So here it is. My thoughts on Wizard and Glass.

I touched on this briefly in my Other Worlds post when I had just started Wizard and Glass, and was still mega happy that I had finally finished the train ride. That part of me is now whole. In my late teens, I was left hanging off the most horrible cliff anyone could imagine, and there was no comfort to be had for years. I’m pretty sure King’s cliffhanger has reached legendary status by now because even non-readers are aware of the hiatus after The Waste Lands. 

And then my excitement turned to “WTH am I reading?!?” just a few days afterwards because King went off on a tangent for like... THE WHOLE BOOK!! Debra wasn’t happy. Where did Suzanna, Eddie and Jake go? They were the ones I wanted to read about, not Alain and Bert and the dinky little town of Hambry. So day after day, I plugged in my ear buds and loaded up audible, suffering through Roland and Susan’s love story and barely able to tolerate it. Until I wasn't just tolerating it anymore…

By that I mean, King drew me in, again, and my tolerance turned to acceptance, then to curiosity, and finally morphed into obsession. What took me months to get into, I ended up finishing in a rush and was unable to put the book down.

Then the story ended… but the book didn't. I was suffering Hambry hangover, and I still had a couple chapters left to go when I was suddenly back with Roland’s ‘New York’ ka-tet. I had just enough time to get all cuddled up with them, AND THEN the book ended.

Blargh!

There you have it. Hangover followed by hangover. It’s a rough life for a reader sometimes.

I have eased my suffering by starting Wolves of the Calla, but it’s read by George Guidell, NOT Frank Muller who read the previous three books. Why you do this to me, Penguin Audio? I might have to find the time to read the book myself since I got so used to Muller’s Eddie Dean. Guidell just can’t pull off the accent as well. We’ll just have to see what happens there.

Now, I have to apologize for the lack of post last week. Things were going along wonderfully as far as edits go, but a monkey wrench got thrown into the works by way of a stress headache last Thursday. Set me a little behind, but I’m back at it now. Working on a few projects, which I know those eagerly awaiting part three probably don’t want to hear, but it helps with the burn out factor. Don’t worry though, The Phoenix Curse remains my primary focus now and will be until it’s finished. The other couple projects I have are just stress relief. :)

Also, for the Sherlock fans out there, Season 3 is out and it is absolutely smashing!! The game is on, people!

Happy New Year!

I'm back!

I hope everyone had a wonderful, wonderful 2013 holiday season! We've made it through another year, woohoo! The family and I spent New Year's Eve playing board games and having fun. At 10 till midnight, I realized I'd forgotten the eggnog and we had to improvise. The internet is truly an amazing thing. I pulled off a recipe, whipped up the creation and voila! Holiday eggnog. Wonder if a new tradition was just born?

Now, I have a few people out there waiting on paperbacks. I'm expecting my first shipment to arrive around the end of this month and I'll start shipping in February. Just a little update on that.

Also, I'm happy to report that it feels like I have a solid grip on things again. I haven't felt this way since before we decided to put our house up for sale. We're finally all settled after the move, I feel pretty settled in at the new job, my wrist is almost back to 100%, and I've been able to hit my daily goals for the past couple of weeks. You know what that means? I'll probably be sending my manuscript off to the editor by MARCH! That's a huge leap from what I had originally expected.

So, wishing everyone the best this year. Remember, it's up to you to make it all happen! I'll leave you with some poetry I wrote ages ago, written sometime during those horrible high school days. Maybe it wasn't ALL horrible.

Time passes, year by year.

Friends who go, new friends to meet.

And so on, life floats slowly by

Making memories, forever sweet.

                                                    d.r.johnson
                                                    circa 1994

Post Christmas Post

Ahahaha, I crack myself up.

Maybe this is a little too true.

But I know, I know. If you actually made it past the goofy title and are now reading my post, you deserve a prize. Unfortunately, all I have left are free digital copies of After - Part One.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'll stop and get on with the news. Luckily for me, I actually have news to share!

First off, I now have my edited manuscript of part one, just emailed back to me earlier this week. Now it's time to reformat the eBook, reformat the paperback, redo the paperback cover, then get everything uploaded. Good times! It's a lot of checking and double checking, but at least the eBook should be uploaded by next weekend. No promises on the paperback. I still have issues when I start fooling around with the cover. It's not exactly cake for me right now, I just need a little more practice.

That being said, the preliminary ideas for the After - Part Three cover art are beginning to form! Green is the theme this time around. I'll be saving the reveal for this one until I send the manuscript off to the editor.

Not to get your hopes up too early just yet. The rewrites for After - Part Three are coming right along, but it's still way to early in the process for me to have an idea of when it will be published. I'm still shooting for 'before spring.'

Okay, one more productive day of the week, then I'm going to enjoy the weekend. Maybe finish up my Minecraft storage room, among other creative things I should be doing... ;)

Last Day!

As of this post, there's only 16 hours left to pick up After - Part Two on sale. Not sure when there'll be another sale, so you'll want to grab it now!

I hope everyone's holiday festivities are glorious!

Other Worlds

Artwork by luke314pi 

Go then. There are other worlds than these.

It's been a while since I've done a review, but not for lack of reading... or - more truthfully - listening. I just haven't had time to curl up with a book lately, so my audible account (read wallet) has been getting a workout. I don't always do reviews on the mainstream books I read, they don't need them like us indie's need them, but I'd still like to talk about what I've been reading.

I've been on a huge Stephen King kick lately, as you may have guessed by the epic quote above. If you don't know what's its from, it first appeared in The Gunslinger, the first book in The Dark Tower series, and became a running theme throughout the books.

The Dark Tower series aren't the only books I've been listening too lately. I started with 11/22/63, a novel dealing with a worm hole that spit the main character out around the time of JFK's assassination, introducing the main conflict of the book. 11/22/63 was the first King book I've read in a long while. I think the one before that was Carrie a couple years back and then Rose Madder probably at least ten years ago. A very long stretch to go without reading a book from one of my 'favorite' authors.

Anyway, back to 11/22/63. I actually picked up this book at the same time a friend began her re-read, and as soon as I cracked it open (loaded it up on audible), I was drawn back in time. It was just so familiar. My friend said it best when she said, "It's like talking to an old friend."

This book really has a bold line drawn down the middle, separating it into two very distinct halves. The first half had me captivated, and I found I was listening to it every chance I could get as it built to its crescendo. It was a wild ride and gave me the story I craved. Once it was over, I still had the bulk of the book left to go and was wondering, where the hell do we go from here?

And the book changed... I lost interest for a while and didn't pick it back up for a few weeks. Final verdict, I would recommend this book for any King fan, along with those that like a good, gritty horror story thrown in with a solid time-travel backdrop... on the first half alone. It was excellent.

But here's the trap I fell into. The main character makes a visit to Derry in the last 1950s. All King fans should know what happened in Derry back in the late 1950s.

Pennywise...

So that's when I totally got sucked back into King's universe. The main character Jake actually meets a young Beverly Marsh and *beep beep* Richie Tozier. Anyone else visualizing a young Seth Green right now?

Artwork by raulman

King wasn't done blurring the lines yet. The main character actually has a run in with Pennywise's essence. It tries to bait him into the old ironworks, but Jake is having nothing of it. He nopes right the hell out of there, but the damage was already done. King had opened the closest doors inside my mind, and I was faced with my deep-seated psychological fears I thought buried long ago.

Kiddos, Stephen King corrupted an entire generation, leaving so many of us terrified of white-faced clowns. Slenderman doesn't hold a candle to Pennywise.

And then I purchased It on audible and began to listen. I had no idea how deep those claw marks in my psyche went, but after looking up old It movie clips on YouTube and reliving Georgie's excruciating death again, I was reminded why I stopped reading King. Because he friggen terrified me. Thus I was reminded why King is still one of my favorite authors. He is the master. 'Nuff said.

It segued into The Dark Tower, because this one I had left unfinished. Wasteland was the last that was published the first time I started reading the series, and many know there was a long hiatus between this book and the fourth book, Wizard and Glass, that wasn't published until six years later. I was off King by then, so never picked it back up until now.

I am thoroughly enjoying this read. I just finished up Wasteland and have finally started on Wizard and Glass and I finally know what happened with that damn train!! Ugh, talk about a cliffhanger. I was hanging for YEARS. I am aware of The Turtle mention in 11/22/63 as well as the references (origin?) of Pennywise in this series. I can't wait to get there!

And that is a very long update on my reading life right now, and a small tribute for this man that has created an entire universe that has webbed through all of his books and so many of his readers lives. It's awe inspiring. Words just can't describe the admiration I have for this man and his ability to put all his stories on paper.

Cheers, Mr King! Your story telling is truly exceptional and I am so thankful you have shared it with the world.